Cart(agena) me away, por favor

Get you a vacay where they can pronounce your last name properly

I spent the last two months visiting JetBlue.com on a near daily basis looking for that perfect getaway. I'm pretty sure my productivity at work was at an all-time low during this period (#losiento). If my boss is reading this right now, this paragraph was a joke, and I'll turn in my key card and clean out my desk on Monday.

Unemployment aside, I found my new get away with just enough vitamin D in Cartagena, Colombia. I will also mention I'm a bit reticent about posting this as soon enough everyone will start making their way down there and stealing all my hashtags and helado. #todoelheladopormi

Here's a quick top 5 breakdown of the best things I did/saw/ate/drank:
1. La Comida - In my experience food can be broken down into three categories; ceviche, ice cream, and ice cream. "Oh Jon, you listed ice cream twice there...", yes, thank you, professor.
Ceviche: another dish you can't fuck up or pick the wrong one of. I'm partial to any ceviche with squid or octopus.
Ice cream: I went to Gelato Paradiso two times a day every day. The helado-ista must've been judging me so hard.
Favorite restaurant, hands-down, is La Cocina de Pepina. I have a soft spot for any place that will serve you beer in a frosty mug.
2. Las Bebidas - Every travel guide will tell you to get the limonada de coco, and they're absolutely right. Besides being refreshing AF, it's the best combination of flavors since PB&J (with the crusts cut off). You can get this just about everywhere and I feel like there's no way to fuck this up. My only complaint about this delicious concoction is the absence of alcohol in this drink. A severely large missed opportunity, therefore I will be experimenting on this at home and will report back.
3. Rooftops - All the rooftop restaurants and bars have views for days.
4. Relaxi-Cabs - Almost all my rides to and fro cost a little less than $5. No Uber necessario.
5. Mi Apellido - Hearing people pronounce your last name correctly is just lovely. They make it sound so elegant, like when you hear an Italian pronounce the word "mozzarella."