A Bit of Paradise in a Pandemic
Quarantinis, straight up
"2020 is going to be a great year"
Day 3,209 of Quarantine:
I've lived in the same apartment for what would be 5 years this Fall. Who knew it would just take a global pandemic to bring me to the brink of insanity and provide just enough boredom to renovating the front yard? I can't say the idea and inspiration were all mine though. Truth is, I watched a few Instagram stories of someone in Brooklyn who happens to have a RIDICULOUSLY good looking roof patio. Each time he would post a story I would watch with copious amounts of jealousy (and awe), carefully holding my finger on the story as to analyze the remarkable woodwork and handcrafted detail that made up his patio. Stained wood, marble stone, faux moss wall, all of which inspired me to redo the sad slab of unusable concrete that was once my front yard area.
Without further ado, here's my parts list:
◦ Concrete Paint x 3: $30
◦ Paint Brushes and Roller: $18
◦ Painters Tape: $10
◦ 10 Lb Bag of White Marble Stones x 6: $4
◦ Solar Panel Pathway Lights x 6: $40
◦ 10" Plastic Planter Pot x 2: $20
◦ 2 x 4 Plywood x 6: $4
◦ Wood Stain: $6
◦ Wood Weatherproof Spray: $8
◦ Pockethole Jig: $40 (not 100% necessary, but really looks good and works well with sharp angles if you have any)
◦ Wood Screws (box): $30
◦ Wood Glue: $5
◦ Faux Grass 7' x 13': $140
◦ Silicon Sand: $24
◦ Society-6 Italian Beach Chairs x 2: $120
◦ Plants 🤷🏻♂️: $80
All said and done, it took about a weekend of work and about $800 for all the hardware for this little project. So what can one do with a newly renovated outdoor patio paradise during a global pandemic? Well, I'm glad you asked! Here's a brief list of activities one can enjoy in an oasis such as ours during quarantine:
◦ Sunning your butt cheeks
◦ Enjoying a summer shandy
◦ Enjoying a watermelon jalapeno margherita
◦ Morning stretches/yoga/planking
◦ Working from home and definitely not shopping on Amazon for shit you don't need or working on your blog that no one reads
◦ Making your neighbors across the street who don't have any outdoor living space extremely jealous and flaunting it
◦ Enjoying some Neil Young
◦ Reading a book or two about why there is systemic racism in America and that 1 in 9 NYPD officers have a confirmed record of criminal misconduct and authoritarian systems like the police should be dismantled and/or defunded
◦ Working/spying on the neighbors, especially that one you've dubbed "Sloppy Joe", who is probably a decent person but is always yelling and staring at girls as they walk by. Come on, Joe, you're better than that and you're way too old for this
So if you're in the hood and are donning a mask and feverless temperature, swing by and let's enjoy some libations and Triscuits until 2020 is over. 🍻
