Running a marathon f**king sucks

Thats why I'm doing it again

Ten years ago I said to my roommate at the time that I was running a half marathon and I was able to coax him into signing up alongside me. In the dead of winter in January we both put on our most runner-esque looking apparel we had and ran our first race ever in Central Park. Two hours and change later, we got our participatory medals at the finish line and posed for a picture. I don't think we could walk straight for a week. Stairs were a hellish challenge and any movement that required getting in and out of a chair resulted in what could only be described as "old man noises." I didn't know at the time that I would become hooked, and despite the aforementioned aches and pains, I couldn't wait for my next race.



Fast forward ten years and 30+ half marathons later and I'm sitting by myself on a grassy knoll in Staten Island at 6:30 am in the runner's warm-up area next to the longest queue for the porta-potties I've ever seen. I brought some lightweight reading material to keep me occupied before the start time that would prevent me from using my phone in hopes of preserving its battery. The said reading material is a 100 page manual about project management and agile software development - not exactly a thriller but it is enough to keep me at peace and my mind away from any pre-race anxiety. It sparked some conversation with another fellow runner sitting by herself, who as it turns out was also running the NYC marathon for the first time. She's equally nervous about the race and doesn't know how she'll do but tells me her goal is just to finish the race. Same, friend. Same.

I'm not going to recall the next 4-hour and 2-minute journey that, despite all my hard work and training, was likely the hardest thing I've ever done. Instead, I'd rather briefly touch on a few things I've learned from the prior 6 months of training:

1. My body is finite and I intend to use it to its fullest extent.
We have but one stupid life to live and this bag of meat and bones we have should be used to its fullest potential. What better way to use your body than to push it to its absolute limits and be part of that small global percentage of people that have successfully completed a marathon?

2. I hate running with people.
Someone once told me "You need to learn how to run with people." No, you absolutely fucking do not. For some people, they need to be part of a "running community" and/or run alongside someone else. That's great, and I'm happy for them. I am not those people. I thrive in my runs when it's just me against myself and no distractions during the said run. I can go as fast or slow as I like and not have to worry about anyone next to me. I find solace in running by myself.

3. I love running and eating (almost) everything in sight.
This might be my favorite part about running (aside from being healthy and looking good naked, which I sometimes do). The insatiable appetite that follows running for 20 miles on any given day is a blessing. You can snarf to your heart's content and not worry (too much) about the gluttonous amount of calories you just consumed.

4. There's a lot of bad (and good) advice out there.
Suffice it to say, do what works for you and take running advice/input from others with a grain of salt. You know what your body needs and what works/what doesn't so listen to yourself.

5. You don't need a running coach.
See above.👆There's plenty of good reading material and running data out there to make you your own best coach.

All this to say, I'm a masochist and I'm running my second marathon in Stockholm this week. Will hopefully be back to regale y'all with musings from my travels and at the very least have another marathon medal to show for it.🤞